[slams open the front door]

unitedstatesofawesome:

arthurstumblelog:

…There is no way in hell I’m wearing that dress, Alfred. I’d make a better pirate than you, hands down. [crosses arms] You’re being the wench. It’d be funnier on you, anyways.

No it wouldn’t, you in a pirate wench costume would just be fucking hilarious and you know it. Plus, I bet you just don’t want people to see your shaved legs. 

[smirk]

Shut up! It’s for swimming, dammit, it reduces drag! [huffs] Why don’t we just have a contest or something? Winner is the pirate, loser is the wench.

[slams open the front door]

unitedstatesofawesome:

arthurstumblelog:

Well, you owe me…[glances at the vomit-covered shirt on the floor] three butterscotch candies. And are you talking about that party? It sounds like trouble - Who did Gilbert say he heard of it from, again? His cousin’s boyfriend? Any costumes we put together this late would just be embarrassing for everyone involved, unless you wanted to steal my mother’s old costume and go as a ‘Sexy Pirate Wench’.

Yeah I mean that party. Well, didn’t dad have that pirate costume too? Oh! How about you go as the Sexy Pirate Wench and I’ll be the badass pirate. It’s the perfect plan!

…There is no way in hell I’m wearing that dress, Alfred. I’d make a better pirate than you, hands down. [crosses arms] You’re being the wench. It’d be funnier on you, anyways.

[slams open the front door]

unitedstatesofawesome:

arthurstumblelog:

[stands up a little taller] A prize won’t fall out of me if you shake me enough, Al. the only thing that’ll come out of a nauseous person when you jerk them around like that is vomit.

[crosses his arms] Shut up, I know that. Anyways, you owe me a new shirt now. And remember that Halloween party? We still don’t have costumes, Artie. 

Well, you owe me…[glances at the vomit-covered shirt on the floor] three butterscotch candies. And are you talking about that party? It sounds like trouble - Who did Gilbert say he heard of it from, again? His cousin’s boyfriend? Any costumes we put together this late would just be embarrassing for everyone involved, unless you wanted to steal my mother’s old costume and go as a ‘Sexy Pirate Wench’.

[slams open the front door]

unitedstatesofawesome:

arthurstumblelog:

unitedstatesofawesome:

[grabs Arthur by the shoulders and shakes him]

ARTHUUUUUUUUR

Al, don’t just - [jerks forward, vomiting on Alfred’s shirt]

[scrunches his face in disgust] Arthur-Oh my god. Ew. Ew. Ew. [gags a bit, then hurriedly throws his shirt onto the ground] Why the fuck did you puke on me, you assface!?

[stands up a little taller] A prize won’t fall out of me if you shake me enough, Al. the only thing that’ll come out of a nauseous person when you jerk them around like that is vomit.

[slams open the front door]

unitedstatesofawesome:

[grabs Arthur by the shoulders and shakes him]

ARTHUUUUUUUUR

Al, don’t just - [jerks forward, vomiting on Alfred’s shirt]

"Trick or treat." He spoke crisply after ringing the doorbell.

Arthur stared at him in nauseous confusion. “Oh, it’s my mirror image wearing a maid costume? Well, candy for you too, I suppose.” He pulled out a half-melted Bit-o-Honey from his pocket.

americanpoutine replied to your post: Hey hey hey! Artie! Gimme some candy!

/stares at the candy/ Sugar free? Are you fucking kidding me bro? This is HALLOWEEN— the time for all sugars to leak outta your ears! And you— /goes silent, listening to him throw up/ … oh.

[rests hands on knees for a moment, then opens up door with a forced, nauseous smile and vomit on his shirt] There’s ‘better’ candy in the kitchen, if you’re so inclined, but - [lurches again] I don’t think I’m in the condition to go get it.

Hey hey hey! Artie! Gimme some candy!

[stumbles out of room and opens house door, leaning on the doorframe] Oh, hmm, I guess it is Halloween, huh? [fiddles around in pocket and pulls out a shitty old sugarfree butterscotch candy]

Happy Hallowee- [lurches, holds a hand up to his mouth, slams door, throws up on carpet]

[dashes into arthur’s room]

unitedstatesofawesome:

arthurstumblelog:

[elbows him sharply] No, no, that’s - not a thing we’re doing, stay on your side of the bed. I even gave you the damn window side, you aren’t in any danger of falling off.

[whines then rolls over, taking all the blankets with him] Fine then, asshole.

What- [futilely tries to grab the blankets back] What the hell, Alfred? [tucks arms in closer] This is ridiculous. I give up. You can have the damn blankets, just don’t get any closer.

[dashes into arthur’s room]

unitedstatesofawesome:

arthurstumblelog:

[sigh] You owe me dinner duty for at least a week. More than that if you wet the bed. [moves away from Al as much as he can] Goodnight.

 Fine, whatever. Night. [slowly scoots closer to arthur] 

[elbows him sharply] No, no, that’s - not a thing we’re doing, stay on your side of the bed. I even gave you the damn window side, you aren’t in any danger of falling off.

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